Excuse me, this incarnational experience won't scan properly . . .

I previously posted this entry at Barclay Press but thought it would fit here as well.



Judah and I have just returned from our daily trip to the store. We parked in our usual area (not necessarily close to the store entrance but rather close to the cart return), negotiated our cart between restocking produce men, purchased some ‘starter foliage’ in an attempt to bring some lushness inside the apartment, and deftly purchased our materials at the self checkout.

Watching the folks who use the self checkout is an experience in itself. There’s the person with a few items who quickly scans items, pays with debit, and leaves the store all in one breath. Another person with a giant load of groceries and no experience with scanning will spend a good twenty minutes bumbling their way through, but they walk away with a sense of accomplishment. Then there’s the poor folks who get shuttled to the self checkout by the well-meaning cashiers in an attempt to keep the lines down and give the customer confidence in using the machines; usually these folks don’t want to know how to scan (ignorance is bliss), and so they stand there trying to get the barcode to register, listening to the “please wait for cashier assistance” message over and over, and leave grumbling and swearing off the self checkout forever.

Why do I know so much about the customs and culture of the grocery store? Cause I spend time there . . . a lot.

Have you ever heard “Be careful what you pray for?” I have, usually at camp when a speaker was telling a witty story about how they prayed for perseverance or patience or some other quality that generally involved teeth-gritting. I’ve been very careful to pray for things that I can somewhat anticipate what the outcome might be (yes, I do know how silly those words sound - I’m not *that* sleep-deprived) - offering my daily actions to God, wanting to hear His voice more clearly, etc. Praying for character-changing qualities is playing with fire because that God of ours is a tricky creative guy.

So then I prayed to be involved in God’s action, where He’s moving. I became part of the Board of Evangelism for our Yearly Meeting. I met John and Karen Macy, and then it all went downhill. They talked about this concept that tweaked my thinking, opened my eyes, excited me and gave me hope for the church in a way that I’ve never felt. They talked about Incarnational Living.

Incarnational Living involves acknowledging that God’s Light is in us, that we are His bondservants which involves living disciplined lives, listening for and trusting in His direction which gives us freedom to be in the present moment without having to know ‘why am I doing this?’ or ‘where are we going?’ Incarnational Living involves relationships: sharing the Light of Christ, being present with others. And not in another country, but rather *simply being present to the folks in our everyday, walking about, working with, living around lives*.

What a great idea, I thought! What a radically simple way of living! God, that’s what I want: I pray that You teach me how to live incarnationally. And here’s what it’s going to look like: I’m going to quit my job, have this baby, look into doing some job that I have more control over the hours (like grant writing or fiction writing or something creative but solitary) and work part-time from home while my oh-so-content child plays with toys and entertains himself, and I’ll research this whole incarnational living thing and tell folks at church about it. That will be great! Pleaseandthankyou, amen.

[You can take a few moments to chuckle quietly to yourself at my ignorance. Or go ahead: laugh outloud: foolish, foolish mortal that I am.]

You know what happens if you pray for living incarnationally? An extrovert inevitably enters your life. For me, I happened to give birth to one. Judah *loves* being around people. We were in Kansas City a while back for Jason’s mom’s birthday. At a reception Judah floated around the room for three hours being passed from stranger to stranger - he flashed grins, performed rolling tricks on the floor, and not once did he cry or even glance to see if Jason and I were in the room. This kid loves people.

Having a child who loves people does not allow me to stay home very much. I’ve gotten rather frustrated with God: why won’t You let me stay home by myself and look into this whole incarnational living thing? How am I going to tell others what it looks like? (I used to work at a library; researching and sharing information is a bit of a hobby for me, but I rarely use the info for myself.)

God’s kindly answering my prayer. By having to leave the apartment, I’m getting to know my community. Judah and I have made friends with all the cashiers at the store. We’re meeting the little girls who play in our apartment parking lot. We’re getting to know the folks who frequent the library. God’s not only letting me know about living incarnationally; He’s helping me to do it!

So be careful what you pray for, or you may be standing in line at the self checkout with me at the store (I can show you how to use it - it’s really not that hard).